Grief hits you so unexpectedly. You stay strong as long as you can and you don’t let it out because there are things to do and battles to be won and details to take care of. You don’t have time to “lose control” and just let it out. No time to lay in bed and rock and cry till your eyes are swollen shut. No time to feel sorry for yourself, there are children to feed and groceries that need to be put away and phone calls to make and the boss expects you in. And to my other friends, don’t hug me too tight, don’t show me too much care and love, I don’t have time to break down. It hurts. This hurt needs to stay over there right now. I’m busy, I have too much to do.